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Is Talking to Yourself Good for You?

Well, it depends on how you do it.

Nisha Mody
4 min readMar 7, 2019
Source: https://flic.kr/p/4rFq41 (Attribution-ShareAlike 2.0 Generic (CC BY-SA 2.0)

I recently went to see author Amy Alkon speak about her book Unf*ckology: A Field Guide to Living with Guts and Confidence. I figured that it wouldn’t hurt to understand how to unf*ck myself. What I remember most from her talk is how she motivates herself to act. She speaks to herself in the second- or third-person to separate “I” from the slog of the act itself. I left thinking, wow, maybe I’ll be more productive now.

“Nisha, it’s time to get out of bed.”

“You will do ten push-ups.”

Of course, I forgot about it soon after, but I became curious about this phenomenon.

A 2014 study reviewed evidence that people tend to adopt a broader perspective and a more positive mindset when speaking in second- or third-person. They found that when individuals gave themselves advice in second-person when completing a cognitive task, they performed better and had a more positive attitude than when giving themselves advice in first-person. Another study revealed that non-first-person self-talk makes stressful situations less threatening, even for people that are socially anxious.

I started thinking about all the things I could finally do if I just referred to myself by my…

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Nisha Mody
Nisha Mody

Written by Nisha Mody

Writer. Feminist Healing Coach. Librarian. Cat Mom. I write about healing & justice. Read more at thehealinghype.com and hear me on my podcast, MigrAsians.

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