Forget Resolutions. Lead with Your Values in 2021.

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Photo by Bench Accounting on Unsplash

What do you mean by values-oriented?

I have explored my values in depth during 2020. That is, I started to identify what I is important for my life’s purpose, how I relate to others, and what aligns with my core beliefs.

What’s wrong with outcome-oriented goals?

Outcome-oriented goals can be helpful by defining quantitative or qualitative terms for achievement. But the trouble comes when you feel like a failure for not achieving these outcomes. It engenders shame and blame. Many of these outcomes are based on external values such as BMI, capitalistic-driven productivity, and basing our goals on other people’s achievements.

How do you create values-oriented goals?

As I said, my values are community, compassion, vulnerability, equity, curiosity, humility, creativity, and unlearning.

What about accountability?

I love having accountability. Creating values-oriented goals can still allow you to have it. Having set meetings with groups of people to accomplish projects helps to keep me on track and collaborate with others. For example, I’m a part of a book club that keeps me on track to read books and gives me a venue to discuss what I’ve read. I might not end up reading those books or gain others’ perspectives if I had to do it alone. Accountability is very helpful when it comes to fulfilling our goals, but we have to be careful that it doesn’t foster shame. After all, accountability does often have an externally-based component.

Get vulnerable

As I mentioned, vulnerability is one of my values. And vulnerability can help us move past shame. When you get clear on your values, share them with someone. This is an act of lowering your walls, being honest with someone else, and being honest with yourself.

Writer. Feminist Healing Coach. Librarian. Cat Mom. I write about healing & justice. Read more at thehealinghype.com and hear me on my podcast, MigrAsians.

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